"Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it;s breaking;" ---

Labels: when there are clouds in the sky you;ll get by.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"You can't make someone love you all you can do is to be someone that can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth."

----

Labels: You are my everything and I will always love you that's a promise

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book. Just turn the page."

Screw life. Just move on ..
sigh


Xoxo.

Labels: Have you ever wondered which hurts the most saying something and wishing you had not or saying nothing and wish you had.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"It's crazy, right? To love someone who's hurt you. It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you."

My friend, Celia told me this sad story between a couple and I thought It'd make me feel better if I put it here.
& JASMINE GRATS LEVEL 30!
Laughs.

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.

I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."

Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.

Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.

Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.

But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."

We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.

We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.

She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."

With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.

She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"

I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.

Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.

The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.

I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."

She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.

She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I'm left without regrets.

But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.

PS : DAWN IS CRYING >:

So touching right? I cried when I heard the story. That guy Chris died. Sob.

I'm going to stop crying and go sleep ):

Xoxo.

Labels: Never start frowning cause then you'll never know whose falling in love with your smile.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"Love is a mystery, only the most divined can solve this little thing called Love."

Whee I'm bored. LOL, talk tmr.
Goodnight ~

Xoxo.

Labels: but please never break my heart into pieces again., Kiss me, love me

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering, love me without restrictions. Want me without demand and accept me how I am."

Hello people, I just found out I can do that GOTOHELL on the calculator. Cool aye? LOL.
Nothing to write. Just a boring Saturday. Today couldn't buy 30k @cash. My "dealer" isn't free today.
She's my penpal from Malaysia, she helps me to buy @cash. I pay her back through mail ;x
Later going to watch SALT, heeehee. Angelina Jolie. This is my second time watching it. IT WAS SO GOOD.
Watching it with Gwen.
Seeya she's here.

Xoxo.

Labels: Just admit you NEVER loved me. So the pain you caused me makes sense.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"True love, burns the brightest. But the flames leave the deepest scars."

Tagging fps now at f1. ~x3LURVE~ bought f1, pro right? laugh.
After 4.20 cannot play le (2.20 SG) Then I'll be back @ 6 (4 SG) LOL. I'm so nice, just for people I chge to SG time. Yesterday play with ~Giselle Lust partner, heehee.
I went to fam blog yesterday, Becky told me she accidentally went there, so she went to play games.
LOL, then she ask me try the tic-tac-toe.
I go try, I chose to be X so I go first,
I put here. Then the comp put there, then I put another. THEN BOOM " AHHHHH"
The scary person go appear and scream. WHAT THE, SHE ASK ME ON THE VOLUME SOMEMORE.
ALMOST WANT TO DIE OF HEART ATTACK. LAUGH.
Thenthen, she say go killerjo.net go see the thing. She say to off the volume, then i don't dare look @ my phone cause I internet-ing there. LOL, Then all blank. HENG I LAGGING, I quickly type youtube then safe liao :x
Really scared me. she say got little girl there, laugh.
Now, I'm so bored ): Trying to find something to do.
Imma go edit after my tuition. Seeya, I head back audi.

Xoxo.

Labels: Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"You can fall from the sky; or fall from a tree; but the best way to fall is in love with me."

I just realised in the last 2 posts I put a picture on top and put quotes there. LOL,
and they all sound so emo. Or something, today no channel.
I just dced from audi so i decided to blog.
I've been feeling sad lately, pretending to smile.
Pretending to laugh, but the only thing on my mind lately was you.
No Jasmine, not Sean. Laughs.
I told him I wasn't ready or something..
My heart stops whenever I think about him.
It's killing me inside. Sigh, I drew something for Jasmine, Tiara & Becky today.
While i was bored to death waiting for my tuition teacher to arrive.
I think I'll post it on the top maybe when I get my laptop back.
It really sucks. lols, I feel like crap right now.
lols-ing. Is this like an emo post?
I've been feeling sad lately, pretending to smile.
Pretending to laugh, but the only thing on my mind lately was you.
No Jasmine, not Sean. Laughs.
I told him I wasn't ready or something..
My heart stops whenever I think about him.
It's killing me inside. Sigh
OMG SERIOUSLY DAWN? REALLY? Oh gawd.
Im getting that australian accent now and then, it really frustrates me.
I don't say lah or leh or ma or meh or any singlish words.
Only when I'm typing in audi. It's a habit.
Going to end here, later have tuition.
Seeya.
I just miss him so much...

Xoxo.

Labels: When I listen to my heart it whispers your name.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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"Two parts of a heart are broken apart, one asks, where are you? The other replies. Always in your heart."

Today went have homeschooled, finished one hour ago.
Just went audi blah and blah.Australia's next top model 4 new season is up. YAY!
Alice won in season 3, so lovely -hearts-
Oh gosh, this girl is really tomboy. LOL.
Maybe I should be a model ;hohoJasmine's droooool :x LAUGH. I hate this western set I WANT DIM SUM!
Wow, I;m such a baby >:
I go audi, Ytd so fun made fun of Jasmine
PLOOOOOP AND GIVE LIAN HER NIECE/NEPHEW JASMINE!
wait let me make this big, ahh. Better <: Bye bye



Xoxo.

Labels: It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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Today woke up and went Audi, then went to msn ask Jasmine go f5 do fps.
I broke with ~Elmo cause SINGLE FTW (Y)
My mood very spoilt, I'm not sure why. But I just feel so sad.
My homeschool cancelled cause I not feeling well.
No mood talk. Seeya (:


Xoxo.

Labels: Somebody just kill me; please my hearts breaking me apart

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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yesterday when i did me and jasmine;s post i got super angry cause the jump failed 1 went to failed shakeshake 2 GAH, so jasmine if you seeeeeeeeee that, just ignoreee. :x

Now is 11:12 in aussie. Gawd, i have such a stomache ache. So my dad bringing me to the doctor later. By kater i mean now so gtg, he screaming at me like a bleeeeeeeeahh.


To the heartbreaker :
Maybe it was the right decision, you never "loved" me. Laugh, girls are just like filthy clothes to you right? When they get all rusty you throw them aside. I wasn't sure I like you at first, but then I really started falling for you. But I judged a book by its cover, but I judged it too soon. Right now, you have no idea how heartbroken I feel. But your just a beautiful dream, that ends up being a nightmare everytime. 5chances are enough.. More than enough. I just want my life to turn around, sigh.


Xoxo.Dawn Leanne Julea.

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Leg up please!
















Me & jasmine's butt! LAUGH

















My solo jump, LOL. :x













Another butt thingyyy. :x














Failed attempt Shakeshake (1)














Failed attempt Shakeshake (2)













Failed attempt Jump (1)















The only thing closest to Success Jump (1)

Labels: Dawn Fez Ruby, To Jasmine Baby : I TOOK A FREAKING LONG TIME TO DO THIS, your welcome. Sincerely

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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They say they love you.
They say they'll wait for you.
They say that your their only true love.
But all that? Just for entertainment.
If you want to find somebody, go find a fat person. Much more better than these kind of guys.
Laugh, so what if you love them back?
You'll find out what'll happen. Lol...
Besides when your older and get married whatever.
I should stop dreaming about that Mr. Right.
I should just dream of Brad Pitt, LOL. Much better (:
Seeya..
xoxo.

Labels: Just puppylove.

Dawn Leanne Julea.

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Happy late 4mnth bodoh.
Your like gone, disappear already so, R.I.P (:


I have not been active because my dad took away my comp,
BACK BABEHHHHH.
;muaDawn Leanne Julea.

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